Facing My Demon – Again !!!!

Tom and I love the Portland, Oregon area. We had, maybe, 3 or 4 days last winter of cold weather. The trees are lush with many, many vibrant shades of green. Our backyard burst with flowers a full 1 1/2 to 2 months before my flower bed would came to life in Indiana. I love the fact that my daughter can pop over for lunch or that we can celebrate all the family milestones, big and small, with get togethers. The church that we attend is awesome – alive, friendly, giving, reaching out to others, and feeds our soul.

Life is very good.

It wasn’t always so. I had many years that I walked around in pain and loss. Much grace from God, prayers, and hard work later I felt like I was on top of my game. The past was finally, well, in the past.

Until……………………..

I came face to face with my past. Last weekend Tom and I attended an event. Tom was in a business meeting but the ladies enjoyed a tea while the men talked business. It was really lovely. The tables were set with creamy ivory linen table cloths with real flowers. Ornate Victorian china and fluted teapots adorned the tables. The soft pinks, yellows, and blues of the china melted into a soft and warm atmosphere. Lemon curd, clotted cream, scones, finger sandwiches, and sweet delicacies were passed by kind women servers.

And then it happened. 

Right in the midst of this beauty and refinement I saw one of the people that had torn my world apart – had shattered my heart and caused immeasurable pain to both my daughter and I. They were right there in the room, about 10 feet away. All that past came back in a mournful swoosh and the pain was right there again.

It had taken me months (really years – not God’s fault but me for dragging my feet) to let God work through this horrific event in my life. Many prayer meetings, Bible reading sessions and talks with my pastor and his wife had finally resulted in the fact that I could forgive what had happened. But now today all that hard work was threatened. 

I had a choice to make – would I allow all that hurt to surface or would I 

Forgive – Again ??

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4: 31 & 32 (NIV)

You see forgiveness is much easier to talk about than to put into practice. Not as hard when it is “far away” forgiveness and much harder up close and personal. 

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13 (NIV)

But when I’m confronted by the fact that God forgave me sooooo much, far more than I ever could repay, forgiveness becomes a requirement. Not to say that it makes it any easier to do. 

I realized that day that forgiveness is an ongoing obligation. Certainly not a one time deal, but something that must be worked on again and again. There is no count of the times I’ve forgiven already in the past or will need to forgive in the future. 

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? “Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Mathew 18:21 & 22a (NIV) 

I wish I could say that the need to forgive is behind me but it certainly isn’t. Someone else will cause hurt in my life. I’ll be disappointed by friends or family, and suffer at the hands of others who maybe, don’t even mean to inflict pain and hurt. I might even run across this person again.

But I’ll do the hard work of forgiving again because Jesus died for me when I was unforgiven and unloved. And because it has been said that to cling to resentment is to harbor a thief in your heart. It robs you of your energy, your strength, your peace of mind and, your right standing with God.

So, I forgave that day.

I enjoyed the tea, scones, and beautifully set tables. And I went home with a light heart because I had once again, with God’s precious help, faced my demon and come away the victor !!!!

What hurt in your life do you have to forgive again and again?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

29 thoughts on “Facing My Demon – Again !!!!

  1. I am glad I came to read this message Rebecca.
    The Lord Bless your heart for your sincere words today. Forgiveness is our choice and can be done over and over again. Hard but True!
    Kindest Blessings to you

    1. Thank you for your sweet words, Ifeoma. Forgiveness is an ongoing obligation. I’m so glad that the Savior didn’t just forgive me once but keeps overlooking my faults and failings. It is hard but so releasing when you do it. Blessings.

  2. Truly it is easier said than done but you chose God’s path of forgiveness. I’m so glad to hear that you did not allow that moment to steal you joy. I struggle with forgiving myself for past mistakes and just when I think I’m past it something comes up to trigger it again. I’m still working on it. Thanks for your words of encouragement.

    1. I’m with you, Celi. I too thought I had forgiven this situation, and I had, but you are right that there are some times things that happen to trigger old memories. But thank God for His grace. Keep working on it – with God’s help WE will get through. Blessings.

  3. Beautiful and inspiring, forgiveness can be so hard to do but it really does make your heart feel lighter. Thanks for sharing! Stopping by from #wakeupwednesday party 🙂

    1. Thanks, Bernadyn for the sweet comment and, yes, it is hard to forgive but when viewed in the light of what God did for me it is an easy step. Blessings.

  4. Sweet Rebecca,

    Oh, my dear friend. I understand your pain all too well. When I was just a little girl, my world was shattered through the selfishness of others. Extending forgiveness has been a challenge, especially toward myself. But God has been faithful. He is helping me to share my journey of healing at incrementalhealing.wordpress.com I’d love it if you’d stop by and share your thoughts.

    Blessings and hugs,
    Kamea

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by, Kamea. I spent some time on you web site and came away with tears in my eyes. I thought of the times I passed some one on the street, at work, or at church and didn’t have any idea the pain they were dealing with in their lives. But I’m so glad God can look deep in our hearts and share that burden or horrendous pain. I’m learning too that forgiveness is a process and not a one time event. But we can make it with God’s help and grace. My the One who loves us with an unchanging love surround you as you work through this situation. Blessings.

    1. Yes, Jenifer, forgiveness is freeing. And the opposite is true – it can hold you in chains of grief and resentment if you don’t let the feelings go. Thanks foe stopping and sharing !!! Blessings.

  5. Forgiveness is difficult, yet necessary and ongoing to continue to move forward. I appreciate your raw honesty in this post. I am praying for you as I write this, that God will continue to work on your heart.

    1. Thank you so much, Angie for the prayers and the comment. God has been good to me and I’ve learned to lean on Him in the hard times. I can do nothing in myself but through Him all things are possible !!! Blessings.

  6. Forgiveness…. I think that even though is hard it is definitely easier than keeping a grudge inside. God gives us tests everyday, I am so glad you were able to forgive once again!

    1. Thanks, Jesh for your encouraging comment and we can be winners through Christ. I’m so glad of that !!!! Appreciate you sharing. Blessings.

  7. Thank you for sharing your story on forgiveness. It was very encouraging! Thank you for linking up with the Art of Home-Making Mondays Rebecca. You always share great content! 🙂

    1. Thanks, Jes for the encouraging comment. I do so enjoy meeting so many wonderful bloggers and reading such great content !!! Blessings.

  8. Great post. I get it. It is hard sometimes (most times) to forgive. Thanks for sharing your heart. I am glad to meet you. I will look for your follow button!

    1. Kim, I so agree with you. When I think on the fact of how much I’ve been forgiven I can’t help but forgive !! Thanks for stopping. Blessings.

  9. I could almost feel the know in your stomach as I read this. Thank you so much for sharing this wise truth so honestly and lovingly. Many blessings!

    1. Thanks, Deb for stopping by. I felt the dread in my stomach but the knowing in my heart of what God was helping me do. LOL So glad for His grace. Blessings.

  10. I came to find you after you visited me on Friday (TheCheerioTrail). I was drawn to this post even if it’s not the one you were sharing this week. What wisdom and transparency. You are right that we continue to forgive. Thanks for sharing your story!

    Embracing the Journey ~
    Christi

    1. Christi, thanks for stopping by and your comments. I wish we lived in a perfect world (I know as long as I’m in it it will be imperfect) but we can continue to strive to do our best with God’s help!!! Blessings and come back again.

  11. Rebecca, what an encouraging, honest post. We all must choose forgiveness as we walk through this life. Thank you for the reminder that we can forgive because we have been forgiven so much. Thanks for linking up The Loft

    1. Appreciate your kind words, Leah. Forgiveness is only possible when we remember how much we have been forgiven. Thanks for the venue for us to link up our post to encourage each other. Blessings.

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